When I first arrived in Australia back in early 1990, I had a bit of trouble understanding the Aussie accent. The following excerpt from my upcoming kindle book, “Yanks in the Outback” gives a shining example of what I mean.
Note: Book is fiction but based on my real life experience while stationed in Woomera with the US Air Force from February 1990 until May 1991. Characters are made up but most are based on real people.
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Aussie Accent
26 Feb 1990 Monday
Today I skirted a potentially embarrassing incident. At the same time, I discovered a serious weakness I need to overcome.
As a newcomer to Australia, I find myself having a difficult time understanding the Australian accent. And, this can cause embarrassment; as it almost did this morning at the daily briefing.
The briefing started at 8:30 am sharp as usual. The DO gave his normal short brief and then each person at the table gives a short summary of what’s happening in their section. When it came to my turn I put forward a request – on behalf of the contractors – for “tape time” so they could do some analysis. When I finished my explanation, the training department Chief, Capt Marcus, shot down my request, “Sorry Sean, all tape time is booked.”
Capt Marcus is an interesting character. He’s a sharp looking officer; clean cut; speaks with authority. He’s not very tall, but he’s built like a heavy lifting longshoreman. His military shirt puffs out around his waist because it’s two or three sizes too big at the bottom but just right for his shoulders, chest and arms. Finally, he seems to be very territorial and doesn’t like to give up any resources, like tape training time. He almost had a twinkle in his eye as he informed me and everyone in the room that there is no training time available.
I thought that was the end of it until Capt Johnson spoke up. “Jono” is a highly respected crew commander and a member of the Australian Army. He launched into an animated discussion. His head moved back and forth. His hand gestures expressed a sincere willingness to get me the requested tape-time. His tone of voice suggested he had what I wanted.
But, there was an underlying problem. He didn’t know it and no one else in the room knew it. But, I knew it. It was embarrassing.
The problem was this – I couldn’t understand a word he said!
God knows I tried. I stared at him across the table as he spoke. I followed his lips to see if I could unravel the dialog that way. But, his lips were of no value – they hardly moved! That’s Capt Johnson – almost no lip movement.
He finished his dialog with what sounded like a question. Then he handed the conversation back to me when he entered into a long pause.
It was during this pause that I could feel the beginnings of mild panic – embarrassment if you will – set in. Capt Johnson looked at me, waiting for my response. I stole a quick glance at the others in the room and they all seemed to have understood Capt Johnson’s dialog and were now expectantly awaiting my response. I could also feel a slight tension in the room as everyone was looking for me to reply with the correct answer; an answer that Capt Johnson had spoon fed to me. He solved my problem, now all I had to do was acknowledge his gesture and agree to the proposal.
As I sat there my mind started racing, “What do I say? If I tell him “ok” and then he asks a follow up question, I’m dead! I’ve got to get out of this without ruining his offer to help. I’ve got to get out of this without admitting that I didn’t understand a word he said!”
Then, in my flustered state, I formulated a response. I let out a hidden sigh of relief as I realized I may be able to escape this situation relatively unscathed. I would attempt to trick everyone into thinking I understood Capt Johnson’s proposal and move the discussion smoothly to the next person at the table.
I decided it was my best option, so I put it to the test.
With all the confidence I could muster, I looked across the table and stated, “Capt Johnson, that’s an excellent idea. Let’s get together after the meeting and discuss it further.”
My plan worked. The DO pointed to Capt Richmond sitting next to me and I was off the hot seat.
After the meeting, I shot up from my seat and dashed over to intercept Capt Johnson before he left the room.
“Capt Johnson, I’m really sorry but I have to admit something – I didn’t understand a single word you said at the meeting.”
His response was a classic. He let out a big roaring laugh and then told me, “Yeah, that’s normal. A lot of the guys have trouble at first but don’t you worry, we’ll have you speaking correctly in no time!”
Capt Johnson went on to tell me he had reserved some tape time and was willing to “donate” his tape time to the contractors.
