It never got approved, I wonder why?
As a young air force medic, way back in the early 1980s, I remember writing a ‘new and improved’ medical ward night shift checklist. I couldn’t wait to show my boss, Staff Sergeant (SSgt) Elen, when she arrived with the rest of the day staff team in the morning.
When I presented my ‘awesome’ checklist to Elen, she gave me feedback as follows: “Apparently you don’t have enough to do on night shift. Well, I’ll fix that!”
For some reason, my new and improved night shift checklist never got implemented. But, I reckon it’s a gem. So, any of you ‘medical ward’ folks looking for a great night shift checklist – something to spice up your current ‘boring’ one – check out mine from all those years ago; never goes out of date. And, unlike my boss, you’re going to love it!
NOTE: This checklist is taken from my latest book ‘The Adventures of an Air Force Medic.’
OFFICIAL MEDICAL TECHNITION NIGHT SHIFT CHECKLIST
- During your initial walk through, inform all patients you are not to be disturbed during night shift. Tell them, “No sense ringing the patient call bell, not answering, whatever it is can wait until morning when the day staff ‘know-it-alls’ arrive.”
- In order to facilitate noise reduction, ensure all patient room doors are closed tight.
- Set the nurses’ station telephone ring volume to zero. This setting will ensure you get no annoying late night calls.
- Unfortunately, some patients don’t listen; they ring the call bell even after you brief them not to. Good news, the fix is easy and simple. Go to the break room/supply room and get a pair of ear plugs. Now this won’t cut out the annoying sound completely, especially if there are multiple call alarms going off, but it will drop the noise level significantly. If you position your ear plugs correctly, you should be able to sleep through it. Besides, after a couple of hours you won’t get any more alarms; the offending patients eventually ‘wake up’ to the realization that you’re serious – when you say you won’t answer annoying night shift call bell alarms, you mean it.
- Gather foam padding, a couple pillows, a blanket and cup of hot chocolate or coffee to create the perfect break room rest and relaxation oasis.
- With earplugs securely in place, curl up in your break room oasis with a good book or magazine. Studies show, reading works; it makes you fall asleep faster and reach a deeper sleep sooner.
- When not sleeping and you have a spare moment, check the on-duty nurse for signs of breathing. If the on-duty nurse is snoring, OK to wake up. Snoring is a night shift noise violation. (The nurses know this and won’t be offended if you wake them up.) If the night shift nurse is not-breathing, make a note of it and remember to tell the day staff ‘gurus’ at the changeover brief. The day staff ‘stuck-ups’ can get persnickety if they find out through unofficial channels – ‘coconut telegraph’ or ‘the grapevine’ – that the night shift nurse died.
- Sleep PRN. If you feel tired at any time, sleep. Sleep is what gives you energy to perform your night shift duties. So, by all means, sleep. The more sleep, the better.
- Set your wrist watch alarm so you wake up thirty minutes before end of shift. Look in the mirror. Do you have bed head? Is your uniform ruffled? If so, all good. If not, ruffle your hair and uniform. Look busy when the day staff ‘know-it-alls’ arrive. Talk as if you had a rough night and worked your ass off. String together random medical terms. Make it sound all ‘Marcus Welby M.D.’ Rehash goofball ‘doctor dialog’ from General Hospital. Baffle them with a barrage of blood-work jabberwocky, lab-test gibberish, and throw in a couple bucket loads of your best ‘jugular vein’ jambalaya. They’ll love it. They live for that nonsense. You’ll be a hero.
- Go home. Don’t wait for the day staff slackers to finish their patient rounds. Sneak out right after changeover brief. Have a great day because – after your sleep enhancing, energizing and revitalizing night shift you are ready for action, ready for adventure, ready to take on the world!
Note: PRN is fancy hospital talk meaning ‘as-needed.’
Image by Shahid Abdullah from Pixabay
